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Shut Up, Internet! #5

This is the fifth in a series of posts on internet trends or memes I think are just plain stupid. Please be advised that my opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Mike Bobbitt, Off the Mike, any other contributors, Stephen Hawking, the United States Navy, M&M Mars, the Newsboy Legion, my mother, my dog, or my wife.

Taking Comedians Seriously on Twitter

Twitter is a lot of fun, and I really enjoy following my favorite comedians on there. The problem I have lately is the deluge of stupidity coming from other Twitter users. Not a day goes by that one of the comedians I follow doesn’t  retweet an idiotic answer to a rhetorical question, someone accusing them of being dumb or offensive because of a joke they made, or explaining something to them like they’re a child because the feigned ignorance for humor.

You are reading posts made by comedians. They are usually trying to be funny. Let’s all just take that for granted. It’s usually pretty obvious when they are being serious, otherwise it’s safe to assume anything they say is for humor. If you’re following your senator, by all means, take him or her seriously all the time and tweet your outrage to them. If a comedian offends you or says something you don’t like, unfollow them, but don’t send them a message about it. They’re just going to retweet it to show the rest of us how stupid you are. Yes, we will all look down on you from our lofty comedy nerd towers.

Why do idiots try to ruin everything for us?


Shut Up, Internet! #3

This is the third in a series of posts on internet trends I think are just plain stupid. Please be advised that my opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Mike Bobbitt, Off the Mike, any other contributors, my mother, or my wife (maybe).

A couple of quickies:


Every comments section, especially if you read Ain’t it Cool News, starts off with the “First!” nimrod, often with several. What are you hoping for? A pat on the back? I have never seen a “First!” post followed by a “Nice One!” post. I’m sure your mom’s very proud of you.

Twitter Hastags on TV

Why do all of my favorite shows now have hashtags watermarked in the corner of the screen? If I’m smart enough to use Twitter, I can probably figure out that if I want to talk about or search for Bones, the hashtag is #Bones.

Once again, the lowest common denominator determines what happens online. Idiots. I’ll be over here listening to comedy podcasts and blogging about why I hate you all.

Nice Tweets: End of The World Edition

Last weekend some crazy religious wacko said the world was supposed to end.  I can sadly identify with the nutty conviction that caused some to give up their life savings up only to find themselves land-locked and broke come 6:01 on Saturday.

So Sure!  Their lives were ruined, but we got some great tweets out of the deal.  So here’s my favorites!

My Contribution (@jconolly) “What!? It isn’t the end of the world!? * sheepishly stops murder spree *”

And now, the best:

#5. @nickkroll “Rapture is no big deal. My world ends every year when McDonalds stops serving the Mcrib.”

#4. @sethmcfarlane “So… Jesus has to work just one day in 2,000 years and he doesn’t show up. This is why the Chinese are beating us.”

#3. @allisonhaislip “T-Minus 4 hours till the rapture, and I’m watching a care bear shoot a tshirt out of a cannon. #priorities”

#2. @TheDanCurrie “Well. I survived Y2k, Snowpocalypse, and the Rapture. Guess I’m a badass.”

#1.  @danielmaier “People are making Rapture jokes like there’s no tomorrow.”

Hey Kids…Twitter! All-Nerd Edition

So, a while back Kobe posted his favorite funny Tweeters, today I’m going to share my favorite nerdy ones.

@DeathStarPR is on a mission to give all the negative publicity the Galactic Empire has received to a more favorable and humorous spin.

 Sample tweet: “If a tree falls on an Ewok in a forest and nobody was around to see TK-827 chop it  down, did it ever really happen?”

@grantimahara I’m sure you all know Grant Imahara from Mythbusters.

 I follow his tweets because he’s clever, funny, and often posts cool behind-the -scenes pics from the set.

 Sample tweet: “This is Murray. He’s a hawk.  #fromset #Mythbusters

 @TheNerdyBird Jill Pantozzi is a comics journalist who writes for MTV Splashpage and Newsarama.

Her profile says, “Has Boobs, Reads Comics. Need I say more?”

Her feed is a great place to view the comics industry from the perspective of a self-proclaimed geek girl.

Sample Tweet: “I also asked my BF if he would dress up as Thor for me and he said no. : ( He has the beard AND blonde hair. #meanboyfriend

 @GailSimone is the current writer of Birds of Prey and Secret Six at DC Comics.

Her twitter isn’t really about her comics, though. She’s funny and  a bit odd, often times starting  strange and funny trending topics like #kingshark or teasing fellow comics creators, especially ones from Marvel.

Sample Tweet: “If I wrote an Avengers movie, I would put the JLA in it instead.”

@CobraCommander is, as if you didn’t know, the leader of a terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

Sample tweet: “When you realize you have a guy named Road Pig on your payroll it seriously makes you rethink your career choices.”

Who are your favorite nerdy twitter users? Let us know in the comments!

Hey Kids…Twitter!

Kobe here. Let’s cut right to the chase: I love Twitter. I was a dyed-in-wool, take-no-prisoners Twitter basher for a long time (I don’t need to know what Johnny Tweetdeck is doing every second of the day) but I’ve since become an ardent convert. Turns out it isn’t a relentless onslaught of ZOMG JUSTIN BIEBER hysteria; there are plenty of interesting and entertaining people on there, I just needed to look. I wouldn’t be surprised if we all follow a lot of the same comedians and entertainers: Paul F. Tompkins, Louis CK, Sarah Silverman and so on; the big boppers. But I’m always on the look out for the hidden gems. I’ll share some of mine and you can share some of yours. In no particular order…

@beatonna.In no particular order except for this one, I should say, as Kate Beaton’s Twitter is by far my favorite. She’s the cartoonist responsible for Hark, A Vagrant! an absolutely terrific webcomic. Her Twitter is one-part humorous observations and one-part cartoon strip, as she regularly posts impromptu single-panel comics to it.

@jenny_wade. Jenny Wade is best known (possibly only known) for her role as District Attorney Liz Traynor on the short-lived TV show The Good Guys. This is the textbook definition of a hidden gem, as I would never in a million years have thought to follow her, but a retweet of something she wrote got me to mosey over and check out her twitter, which is one of the funniest out there.

@neiltyson. Another retweet revelation. I’d seen Neil deGrasse Tyson as a guest on the Colbert Report a couple of times and thought he was amusing, and now enjoy his tweets. He’s an astrophysicist and tweets mostly to point out scientific inaccuracies in news reporting or to put scientific theory and factoids in layman’s terms. Funny plus I learn shit.

@Marylandmudflap. I have no idea who the fellow behind MarylandMudFlap is, but I do know he’s hilarious. Receive it!

And of course Michael Lynn Bobbitt can be found @offthemike.

Have a follow suggestion? Some fount of hilarity and entertainment that not enough people know about? Post it in the comments below!

Too Tsunami?

Gilbert Gottfried got fired by Aflac for jokes he made about Japan on his Twitter.    How do you weigh in on this?

My personal feeling is that Gilbert is famous for controversial comedy, not just for doing cartoon voices.  Aflac had to have known the risks in hiring him.   While I think the timing for the jokes is poor, I think firing him may be overreacting.