These 36 questions went around a year or two ago. I decided to answer the 28 that aren’t specific to a loved one.

28 Personal Questions

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? My parents, and they’re coming over this weekend. It’s comforting for me to have them see that I’m okay and with someone who makes me incredibly happy. Someone who I’ve never had as a guest though would be my friend Paul who lives in Australia. We’ve been friends online for 13 years, but have never met in person. We have compatible senses of humor and love the same pop culture.
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way? Absolutely. I would like to be known for making some sort of piece of art that was someone’s favorite thing. Not selling my cartoon stings every day. If DJ and I had gotten to see our vision become real, people would have loved it. It was as smart as Rick & Morty, and had the heart of Bob’s Burgers.
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Only if I think I’m going to get to leave a silly voicemail.
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? Every time I went to Disneyland or Universal Studios with Allyson was a perfect day. Looking at Breaking Bad locations in Albuquerque with her was a perfect day. Basically, any adventure with Allyson is my perfect day.
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? I sing nonsense songs to Allyson every day.
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? I’d rather keep my mind. It scares me that thoughts escape me more and more frequently.
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? Because I battle with my weight so much and fluctuate 80 pounds up and down every few years, I know that can’t be good for my heart. It’ll probably be a heart attack.
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. We both love comedy, cats and scary movies.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? I have the best loved ones in the world.
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? I never wanted for anything. I got everything. It made it hard growing up that real life doesn’t work that way.
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. I was born in Pontiac, Michigan. My parents did a great job of raising me. My dad worked hard so our family had everything we needed and wanted. My mom bent over backwards to make sure my brother and I were always happy. We had a lot of parties with our friends. Star Wars changed my life when we saw it in 1977. My dad is also into sci-fi and fantasy, which allowed me to see some great works of art growing up. My family always encouraged me to pursue my dreams. I wanted to be a teacher, but instead switched to broadcasting and working in local cable before jumping over to radio. My ego in my twenties kind of killed my radio career. It was very humbling to go from signing autographs in New Orleans to working the midnight shift of a Toys R Us in Michigan. Having my friend Jeff Sanguis see me in a blue Toys R Us vest was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. My ex encouraged me to try comedy and I loved it immediately. I loved it more than anything to the detriment of my marriage. After that fell apart, I met Allyson, who I believe is my soul mate. I’ve never been happier.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? Break through depression quicker.
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? I’m kind of fine not knowing.
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? I would like to go to Europe and Australia eventually, but I haven’t because of money.
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Making the leap out of what wasn’t a very happy life into what has turned out to be an exceptionally happy one.
16. What do you value most in a friendship? I value a friend who can make me laugh.
17. What is your most treasured memory? Allyson instantly tearing up and shaking when I got down on my knee to propose.
18. What is your most terrible memory? Being mean to my mom when I was a spoiled rotten kid.
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why? I would make more of an honest effort to see my friends and not multitask on my iPad when I’m with Allyson.
20. What does friendship mean to you? Friendship is the most important thing in the world to me. I love that I’m friends with my family and I’m not afraid to tell my friends that I love them.
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life? I was insecure when I first started dating Allyson and the very wise Carl LaBove told me that all I can do is love her as much as I can and everything will work out one way or another. So every day I try to let her know that she’s loved.
22. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? I’ve always been close with my mom. Even though my dad and I have a lot in common, I don’t feel terribly close to him, but that could be because he was an only child and isn’t the social butterfly that I am. I wasn’t the best big brother as a child, but I think as adults, my brother and I have become friends and I’m thankful for that. He and I are different on the surface, but we share a lot of the same goofy quirks. I think my niece and nephew are really cool, and I’d like to believe they think the same of me. My brother’s wife is awesome. Allyson’s parents and her brother are wonderful. I feel bad that I don’t know how to be a better nephew to one of my aunts. I’m glad that because of Facebook, I can keep in touch with my other aunt’s family. Those were the cousins who were closest to me growing up.
23. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? She’s one of my best friends and I’m sure I’m in her top two favorite sons!
24. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? I cried tears of joy when I proposed. I cry by myself almost every day. I had a good one the other day in the car listening to Gwar cover “People Who Died” but changing the lyrics to be about their friends who died. Dave Brockie, the old singer of Gwar was a very important person in my life.
25. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? I firmly believe in the notion that you should only punch up. My pet peeve is jokes that are sexist, racists, homophobic, transphobic or make fun of physical or mental handicaps.
26. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? You can never tell people that you love them enough.
27. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? My mom wrote a book for me. I’d need to save that.
28. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? Allyson’s. I’m banking on the odds being that she’s going to outlive me. Losing my parents will be hard. Losing her would destroy me.