Blog Archives

Comedian Survey!

Welcome to the return of the Best of the Surveys From The Can!  Every day comedian Stu McCallister does God’s work and gets the answers to the important questions.

Once a week, the very best of Stu’s SFTC are presented here on OffTheMike to make sure the numbers are square.

53% of Stu’s Crew chose the wild and crazy guy over Mork from Ork.  I don’ think Orson is going to like this.  The guy who did the voice of Orson did the voice of Dr. Doom in the old Spider-Man cartoon.  Maybe Mork was really on a mission of evil!

Battle of the Bettys Survey

Welcome to the return of the Best of the Surveys From The Can!  Every day comedian Stu McCallister does God’s work and gets the answers to the important questions.

Once a week, the very best of Stu’s SFTC are presented here on OffTheMike to make sure the numbers are square.

On July 15th, Stu asked his readers this pressing question.

Stu warned not to even mentioned that whore Rubble.  62% of Stu’s readers were on board with the Highlander of Golden Girls.

Riders on the Storm Survey

Welcome to the return of the Best of the Surveys From The Can!  Every day comedian Stu McCallister does God’s work and gets the answers to the important questions.

Once a week, the very best of Stu’s SFTC are presented here on OffTheMike to make sure the numbers are square.

82% of Stu’s readers prefer the Pirate Ship.  In spite of doing a joke about the Pirate Ship in my act…I agree!

Clown Survey!

Welcome to the return of the Best of the Surveys From The Can!  Every day comedian Stu McCallister does God’s work and gets the answers to the important questions.

Once a week, the very best of Stu’s SFTC are presented here on OffTheMike to make sure the numbers are square.

On July 22nd, Stu invaded our nightmares and asked this pressing question:

57% of Stu’s readers voted correctly (that means, with me) and picked Krusty.  28% liked Bozo.  15 prefered Ronald.  Maybe America isn’t getting fatter after all.  Or maybe we all just prefere Burger King.  Now that guy is creepy!

Technology Survey!

Welcome to the return of the Best of the Surveys From The Can!  Every day comedian Stu McCallister does God’s work and gets the answers to the important questions.

Once a week, the very best of Stu’s SFTC are presented here on OffTheMike to make sure the numbers are square.

On July 26th, Stu asked:

55% of Stu’s readers preferred the Clapper.  Stu noted, “Seems laziness beats out nice icey cold drinks on this one.”

SFTC: Swordplay

Welcome to the Best of Stu McCallister’s Survey From The Can

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Every day friends of comedian Stu McCallister take part in a very important polling process which determines our state as a nation.  Now you can take part in the polling too!

Ooh!  This is a classic!  I wish I put this up sooner.  On March 15th, SFTC Staffers wanted to know who would win in a sword fight?

68% of SFTC readers realized that the guy with the Force would win.  SFTC staffers noted that his sword (ahem, lightsaber) was cooler.

Comedian Stu McCallister can be found on Twitter and Facebook.

Okay, what asshole voted Zorro?!

I FORCE Comedians To Talk Star Wars With Me!

Cartoon from Michael Horvath at seemikedraw.com

I asked my comedian friends which Star Wars movie they liked best.

I’m a purist and have to go with Episode IV or “A New Hope” as we call it in our nerd circles. It’s the first one I saw and it’s perfect to me. It moves fast and there aren’t any moments I don’t like. Empire is a close second, but I’m not a huge fan of all that Hoth stuff. I live in Michigan. It’s Hoth seven months out of the year.

Stu McCallister: What is Star Wars?

(Stu McCallister is now dead to me…which is okay, because he can come back at a Jedi ghost!)

Andy Pitz: I don’t have much nerd cred with the Star Wars movies as far as knowing all things about it backwards and forwards, but the first one is my favorite. It’s the only one I still watch from time to time. I like the allegories present in the movie. “The Force” is definitely present and all-pervasive, whether people are aware of it or not.

(This is why I like Andy so much more than I like Stu-pid McCallister! Andy gets it!)

Jeff Dwoskin: Star Wars, or as us normal people call it, Star Wars. I was 7 and it was the greatest thing ever in the world. I saw it on my birthday with my best friend at the time, who lived across the street and my family. After the movie we went to my neighbors and the power went out. We ordered pizza and ate with the power out all together – both our families. The power came on mid-meal and we turned the lights out to finish. While that has nothing to do with Star Wars the two stories are intertwined in my memories. I also liked the light sabers, the toys and the idea that a boy like me could grow up to destroy a planet.

(Stu who?)

This is a huge honor for me. My three favorite comedians Maron, Pardo and Kashian. Jackie Kashian has always been super cool to me and I think her stand up is just about the most fantastic thing out there. Here’s her answer to this very important question: Empire… this is SUCH a girl answer. Becuase Han and Leia kiss. and it’s FUNNY. Sexy and funny. My favorite thing. Awww… I’m adorable. (A New Hope is the most re-watchable now that I’m not 11 any more).

SFTC: Chrome Domes

Welcome to the Best of Stu McCallister’s Survey From The Can.

Every day friends of comedian Stu McCallister take part in a very important polling process which determines our state as a nation.  Now you can take part in the polling too!

On March 25th, SFTC staff wanted to know who is a cooler bald guy?

53% of SFTC readers prefer Howie over Mr. Clean.  Both hate germs…and shaking hands.

Comedian Stu McCallister can be found on Twitter and Facebook.

SFTC: Band Geeks

Welcome to the Best of Stu McCallister’s Survey From The Can.

Every day friends of comedian Stu McCallister take part in a very important polling process which determines our state as a nation.  Now you can take part in the polling too!

On March 29th, SFTC staff wanted to know which instrument you’d rather play.

69% of the original SFTC pollees think polka is cooler than marching bands.  Lawrence Welk would be proud.

Comedian Stu McCallister can be found on Twitter and Facebook.

SFTC: Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness

Welcome to the Best of Stu McCallister’s Survey From The Can.

Every day friends of comedian Stu McCallister take part in a very important polling process which determines our state as a nation.  Now you can take part in the polling too!

 

 

On March 30th, SFTC staff hoped you washed your hands after using the bathroom and wanted to know which you preferred in drying your hands.

 

Lumberjacks were happy because 85% of the original pollees preferred paper towels.  SFTC staffers believe bathrooms need automatic doors.

Comedian Stu McCallister can be found on Twitter and Facebook.

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