For the past few months I’ve been tooling around with this idea to try to add it to the act, but this morning when I sat down with it, I realized it would just end up being the kind of thing I’m about to complain about.
Religion is a touchy subject, but I want to get this off my chest. I’m tired of the high and mighty pompous attitude of Atheist comics.
What I do or don’t believe when it comes to the existence of a higher power is my business and completely incidental.
My experience has been when you encounter a die hard Christian who finds out you don’t believe in what they believe, they’ll pray for you. Thanks! You’ll talk to your poss and put in a good word for me anyway? Thanks bud!
When you encounter a die hard Athiest who finds out you don’t believe in what they believe, they act like you’re the silliest bastard they’ve ever met. ”You believe in God? What? Do you believe in flying mongoose farts and fairy dust too?”
No. No I don’t. It turns out that no one believes in that.
Atheists love ruining things. They’re like a person who goes to see a magic show and is quick to tell you how the tricks are done. ”He didn’t really saw her in half, what’s under the box.”
Thanks. I was enjoying myself for a moment.
They act like they’re movie spoilers and they revel in it. ”Rosebud is a sled. Verbal Kint is Keyser Soze. Bruce Willis is dead the whole time.”
But they’re not spoilers. They’re speculators. They don’t know how this ends anymore than anyone else. They’re more like the people on Ain’t It Cool message boards who feel the need to tell the world that the next GI Joe movie is going to suck. Yeah. Probably. You don’t know that. Okay. Most likely you’re right, but you don’t know for sure. We could all be surprised.
The only Atheist I’d put any stock in would be an Atheist ghost floating around, rattling chains and telling us in an ethereal voice, “There is no God. The human body is just a machine fueled by energy and I, and all ghosts, are that energy in a new form that science hasn’t figured out yet.”
Atheists remind me of the kid in elementary school who first found out about Santa and instead of sitting on it and letting all the other kids in class enjoy Christmas for another year, had to come to school and ruin it for everyone.
I firmly believe that anything should be open for comedians to talk about as long as it’s funny. I find when comedians talk about being an Atheist it comes off as preachy and condescending. I’d love for someone to tackle the subject in a funny way. I can’t think of an exception where those bits don’t end up following the formula of, “You believe in God? Do you believe in this ridiculously poetic bit of absurdist wordplay poetry that I put together too?” If there’s an exception to this, or if someone knows of a really great bit on this subject, please point me towards it. I love discovering comedy done well.
I could see it being argued that they feel they’re doing a service because religion is corrupt. Yeah, a lot of organized religion is pretty corrupt. Religious people do awful things sometimes. That’s because they’re people and people do awful things sometimes. But there’s a difference between attacking religion and attacking faith. What good comes from trying to shatter people’s faith?
And yes, I’m totally generalizing here. Some Atheists are fine and let people have their thing. Some Christians are awful and when they find out you don’t believe in what they believe they tell you you’re going to go to a place you don’t believe in in the first place.
Everyone should be allowed to have their thing even if their thing ends up being nothing.