Roast Jokes

My favorite roast jokes are the ones told about me.

My all time favorite is from the Darth Vader Roast when Lesley Braden said to me, “Mike Bobbitt do some sit ups before someone puts me in a Princess Leia costume and chains me to your neck.”

I asked my friends for their favorite roast jokes told about them.

Sweet Mike O’Keefe: My favorite roast joke about me was delivered like a rocket ship to my heart at Adam Sokol’s during the summer of 2010, the year of our Lord.  It was my first roast and being that I am a huge Don Rickles fan and love not only insulting people but also being insulted, I was legitimately excited for it.  I was also elated at the fact that this was the first time I was going to an event for our community of comics that I am very proud to be a part of.

I drove there with companion and fellow handsomite Trevor Smith.  On the way out there, Ol’ Trevor and I worked up a nice joke about one Merv DaPerv and his notorious stage name.  We though we had spun quite a yarn.  Coincidentally, I opened with it. It tanked.  I recovered by making it known that I had made sweet bi-racial love to Darnell Anderson in a New York City hostel bunk bed not a month prior.

A few comics later, Merv came up and retorted quite elegantly with “Mike O’Keefe, more like Mike O’Queefe.  You sound like an Irish Pussy Fart”.  Then Merv, who at the time was a full-grown man in what I can only describe as a football jersey, proceeded to make a fart noise into the microphone.  The crowd, at first confused, looked to me for some sort of reaction.  This mass of concerned humanity quickly saw that I was devastated by this yarn of acerbic genius and responded, politely, with a crisp and clear “faggot”. To this day, I have not yet recovered from this verbal assault and am still haunted by the sight of any and all football jerseys and any and all vaginas.

Jeff Dwoskin:My favorite roast joke. That is hard. Most are some variation of some revelation that I’m a Jew. Perhaps Bill Bushart said it best when you said ‘Dwoskin puts the ‘ew’ in ‘Jew’. Kris Peters did a good impersonation of me as well at the Ford roast – I should mention that as it made me laugh pretty hard. Frankly I’m just glad to ever be mentioned at all. If someone can take the time to sit at home and focus on a joke about me. I’m truly honored by that. Who wouldn’t be.

Germaine: At the roast of Jeff Ford, Bill Bushart said this about me “I’m not saying her snatch is hairy, but last time she trimmed it it took two Amish guys and a sickle”.

Stu McCallister: Some dick (Mike Bobbitt)at a roast said I looked like a ‘retarded Ent’ which all LOTR fans know are the walking talking trees.

About Mike Bobbitt

Professionally amusing to some.

Posted on April 29, 2011, in Quick Question... and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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